As part of my Behavior Therapy Training Institute Certification for Pediatric OCD, I had the amazing experience of having Dr. Marty Franklin as my faculty consultant. As we were discussing some of my cases, he said to me “He who values comfort over function shall have neither.” These words have stuck with me, because they resonate on so many levels. There is a profound truth in that statement, and I often pass it along to my clients, as we learn the skills and tools to change.
Is there something you want to change in your life? Have you been dreaming about an action you want to take or a direction you want to go … and yet you don’t?
We all know the sayings … Change is good. Nothing stays the same but change. Blah Blah Blah. But why is it so hard for us to just do it.
Maybe you’re stuck.
If you are, knowing you are is important. Let’s take a quick quiz. Answer the following three questions:
- Do you keep talking about wanting something, but your actions haven’t changed? This could be a different job, to parent more effectively, start meditating, get out of a relationship, start dating, just to name a few.
- Do you tend to put things off saying you need more time to think/process/weigh the pros and cons? If this is a pattern for you, look and see how many times this leads to action versus more spinning in your head.
- Are you psyching yourself out? Pay attention to the story you tell yourself. I’ve heard lots of people tell themselves that they “couldn’t handle being alone again” or “can’t tolerate that level of anxiety.”
If you’ve answered yes to at least two of these, you’re probably stuck.
Change is essential for all of us to progress, yet so many of us struggle to initiate it, even when we know it’s best for us. After all, there’s a reason why procrastination memes are so popular. Much of what I work on with clients is how to get out of their way so that they can progress. Whether it’s a life transition, divorce, or career development, any time we want to do something different, there are tools that help us do that. We all go through periods where we need extra support to get out of our head and out of our own way. One of my favorite Eric Zimmer quotes is “Don’t think harder, think differently.”
So how do you get unstuck? Check back next week for the answer! In the meantime, write down some things you’d like to change. Even better, share them with me on Facebook or Instagram. If you’d like to talk more in-depth and privately, contact me!