If you’ve ever been hijacked by anxiety, fear or any other intense emotion, you know how unpleasant it is. Even when you know there’s nothing to worry about, that doesn’t seem to stop you from, well, worrying.
Knowing a feeling is irrational doesn’t help because we still feel powerless to control our response, our thoughts and our behavior. You feel trapped.
Understanding your brain can help you understand what’s happening when you feel trapped in your own mind.
Introducing the Amygdala
In your brain, you have an area called the amygdala. Understanding the amygdala is important when we talk about anxiety and fear because this little cluster is your body’s alarm system.
Part of your body’s limbic system, the amygdala has several functions, one of which is telling us when there’s danger ahead. Its job is self-preservation, so it’s always scanning for danger to help keep us safe.
It’s trained by association, so it learns based on previous experiences.
When it senses danger, it triggers stress hormones to be released. If we’re in actual danger, that’s going to be useful and fits the situation. If we’re not in danger (e.g., worrying about if someone is mad at you), but we react as if we are (e.g., the situation doesn’t fit the reaction), the brain will make that false association that someone being mad at you is “dangerous” or relevant and keep coming back to it.
The overactive alarm system is a threat detection system that’s gone haywire.
It’s why we say things like, “get back on the horse” after you’ve failed at something. The longer you remember the failure, the bigger it becomes in your mind. By trying again, you teach your brain that one failure doesn’t have to stop you.
Now, I’m not a neuroscientist. The brain learns in several ways, and I’m simplifying it, so we see the effect changing our response to anxiety and fear has on it.
If you want to dive deeper into the idea, check out Hebbian Theory. It asserts that “the neurons that fire together, wire together.” It’s another reason why doing the same response when we’re anxious only reinforces the anxiety and worry — and why teaching it something different rewires a different pathway.
Trapped by an Overactive Alarm System
What gets people “trapped” is reacting to things that aren’t dangerous (generally our emotions) as if they are. That reaction trains the alarm system to sound the alarm more often and more intensely than it needs to be.
Some situations are not dangerous, just uncomfortable.
A situation can be inherently uncomfortable, such as a confrontation, or it can be something new and scary, such as speaking in front of a room of people. Uncomfortable doesn’t necessarily mean negative. These are often opportunities for growth.
What we’re talking about here is what we’re teaching our brains. If you work through it, proceed with life while you feel that discomfort, you teach your brain you can handle the uncertainty — because you’re “sure enough” right now.
Sounds so simple, doesn’t it? Simple, but not easy.’re
Action Is the Key to Loosening the Trap
It’s important to know that thinking your way into different behaviors doesn’t work. You have to act your way into them.
We teach our brains through action.
This is one reason why talk therapy isn’t the most effective treatment for those who feel trapped by their thoughts.
Talking about things isn’t teaching your brain how to respond, and replaying the same scenario (for the umpteenth time) is rewiring those neurons and making that pathway stronger. Without even realizing it, the therapist has helped make the mental rituals stronger.
For anyone with excessive worry, irrational fear, an anxiety disorder and/or OCD, you engage in a behavior (even if that behavior is in your head) in an attempt to get rid of the discomfort.
And it works, temporarily. As the symptoms get worse, however, you start to feel hopeless and embarrassed.
The next time you feel trapped by your mind:
- Ask yourself “Am I actually in danger or just uncomfortable?”
- Label what’s happening. (Are you compulsing? Thinking? Worrying? Ruminating?)
- Remind yourself you don’t have to keep engaging in this behavior.
- Connect to something in the present moment that’s outside of your head.
- If you notice you’re white knuckling or tensing your body, rag doll it: go as limp as you can.
- If you feel “on edge” or “amped up,” get physical and move for short intervals.
What NOT on the list of things to do:
- Journal your way out of the discomfort.
- Try to change your thoughts.
- Crowdsource your situation.
- Use logic to reason out of the anxiety.
- Wait to do something until you calm down
Most people’s amygdala will misfire sometimes and sound the alarm when there isn’t any danger.
For those who find themselves stuck in the cycle, there’s hope in knowing you can teach your brain new tricks.
