One of the most impactful things I’ve learned since my divorce is the Buddhist distinction between pain and suffering. Basically, they believe pain is inevitable and suffering is optional. At first, I was like WTF? (I was, after all, recently divorced. My pain was front and center, and suffering didn’t feel optional.) But, as time...
Dating. Now there’s a word that can strike dread into the hearts of many. Online dating. Does that amplify the dread? For many, it does, especially if you’re old enough to remember the pre-internet days. For most of us, searching for a partner is inherently nerve-wracking. I mean the vulnerability and uncertainty are palpable. Technology...
We’ve talked about setting internal boundaries, or as I like to say, keeping our brain on a shortened leash. Now, because I know you’re going to ask … let’s talk about setting external boundaries. When I talk to people about setting boundaries with other people, there’s the typical refrain: “I know I should, but I...
Recently, we talked about willingness being the secret sauce to learning how to feel and tolerate discomfort. There’s great benefit to accepting reality, exactly as it is in this moment, even if you don’t like it. Now, I want to dive a little deeper. This is for those of us who sometimes find it really...
I recently discovered my gym’s VersaClimber classes. Within 5 minutes, I feel like I’m climbing Mount Everest without oxygen in the middle of summer, with no end in sight. A 30-minute class can feel like hours. Today, as beads of sweat tricked down my face, I asked myself, “why am I subjecting myself to this?”...
As I’ve mentioned, I recently became a Gestalt-certified coach. One of the questions I get most often is what’s the difference between coaching and therapy. Therapy helps when there’s something preventing you from functioning well. There may be a mental illness, like major depression or OCD, trauma or loss. Sometimes you need to dive into...
Talk about not knowing where life is going to take you … I recently became a Gestalt-certified coach. Don’t worry, though, I’m not abandoning my therapy practice. I’m adding to it. I was inspired to become a coach after having my own transformational experience working with an executive coach on Martha’s Vineyard several years ago....
You might be surprised to know that I’m a huge Howard Stern fan. I have been for years. In the current issue of Rolling Stone, Howard talks extensively about how going to therapy has helped him in life. (You might have seen me share the article on my Facebook and Instagram pages.) I’ve always appreciated...
Someone asked me recently to define my professional goal. The first thought that popped into my head was to be FEARLESS! (cue Superman theme song) But that’s not possible, really. I’m human, and fear is part of the human condition. As I tell my clients, my kids, and myself — it’s about being scared and...
Every day, I take a 20-minute nap. I call it my 22-minute nap: one minute to fall asleep, 20 to sleep, and one minute to wake up. I was talking to a friend the other day and mentioned it. She was fascinated. I think what strikes people most about this glorious habit of mine is...