Just Do Nothing (For Parents): How to Parent Better by Doing Less
Available Now
A science-backed, refreshingly honest approach to becoming a more regulated parent who’s better capable of navigating discomfort by doing less, not more.
You swore you’d parent differently.
You’ve done the therapy, read the books, and yet you find yourself on Reddit at 2am looking for answers only to find contradictory, judgmental advice.
You’re not a bad parent. You’re just doing too much.
Parenting is hard. It’s even harder when your nervous system feels stuck on high alert (or overdrive), your emotions feel out of control, and you’re worried that every move you make will screw your kids up.
The parenting skills that make every other strategy finally work.
Most parenting books assume you have the emotion regulation and distress tolerance skills to implement the strategies they’re proposing. I’m teaching you that skill set.
This book will teach you how to:
- Pause instead of pounce when your kid hits your last nerve
- Increase your capacity to sit with discomfort and uncertainty
- Respond with intention instead of reactivity
- Accept difficult emotions and build your emotional resilience
- Not make already difficult situations even harder
It’s not about eliminating distress. It’s about learning to live with it in healthier ways. And while that may sound uncomfortable, it’s exactly the skill set you (and your kids) need.
Shop your favorite bookseller now
About Joanna
Joanna Hardis, LISW-S, is a licensed therapist, author and speaker who’s spent nearly three decades helping people change their relationship with discomfort, so they can do hard things.
Her first book, “Just Do Nothing: A Paradoxical Guide to Getting Out of Your Way” (2023), was a Booklist “Editor’s Pick” and earned a five-star review from the Los Angeles Book Review. She’s also a regular contributor to “Psychology Today,” guest on “The Anxious Truth” podcast and has been featured in several national publications.
Based in Cleveland, Ohio, she’s on a mission to help us all actually move toward our goals through her “Just Do Nothing” process.
She earned her bachelor’s degree from Cornell University and master’s degree from Case Western Reserve University. She holds a certification from the Cleveland Center for Cognitive Therapy and is trained in Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions (SPACE). She is among the few clinicians in Northeast Ohio trained in Exposure and Response Prevention for OCD.
We’re not trying to make uncomfortable moments comfortable. We’re trying to get comfortable with life’s inevitable discomfort. That’s how we learn to respond to the situation and rather than react to our feelings.
You may be wondering …
Is this book only for anxious parents?
No. The book is for any parent who struggles to tolerate emotional discomfort—theirs or their child’s—and finds themselves reacting emotionally instead of responding intentionally.
My kids are teenagers. Is it too late?
Not at all! Parenting older kids brings new, sometimes more complex, challenges. Many of the client stories in the book involve parents of teens and young adults. One mom rebuilt her relationship with her teenage boys after years of being walked-all-over. Another parent learned to have uncomfortable conversations about divorce, substance use, and money. Change takes courage at any stage, and it’s never too late to shift your approach.
Will this book tell me I’m doing everything wrong?
Nope. That’s not the point, trust me. What you’re doing makes sense given your own experiences, history and perspective. It’s just “not working.”
I say over and over again that parenting is objectively harder now. We’re stressed for legitimate reasons. The last thing I want to do is heap on more guilt or shame. Plus, I share my own failures (getting kicked out of swim lessons and preschool. We’re learning new skills, and the goal is always progress, not perfection.
How is this different from other parenting books?
Most parenting books focus on managing your child’s behavior. This book focuses on managing your own distress so you can parent effectively regardless of what your child is doing. It’s not about new discipline techniques or communication scripts—it’s about building the internal capacity to stay grounded when things get hard.
Most parenting books assume you have the emotion regulation and distress tolerance skills to implement the strategies they’re proposing. I’m teaching you that skill set.
How many parenting books incorporate Yiddish, Cognitive Behavior Therapy and Lucille Bluth? Exactly. That’s reason enough.